Are You There God? It's Me...Katie

For those that know the real book, "Are You There God?  It's Me, Margaret" by Judy Blume, you probably know that the story follows a young Margaret as she deals with issues plaguing every young female.  It's a must read for all girls from 10-12...or in my case, when I was 22.  And now that I've finally dealt with the issues addressed in this novel, I'm wondering where the hell Judy Blume's next book is.  You know, the one that deals with the traumatizing question all single people in their mid-to-late 20's ask:

How does this man have a significant other yet I'm currently not dating someone?  The book would be called, "Are You There God?  It's Me, Katie....and I'm Wondering Why You Hate Me So Much."  

Seriously, as my friend Liz pointed out while WATCHING the documentary about this man, not only does this guy have a girlfriend, but he has a girlfriend who picks up his rolls of fat and cleans out the areas that haven't been in contact with sunlight for 10-12 years.  I just threw up, partly because I envisioned myself cleaning his rolls, but mostly because I throw up when I feel bad for myself.

I'm sure all of you are thinking the following:

1) Are you really that vain?  The answer is yes.  No one that weighs 7 times more than me should be dating someone when I'm not.

2) Maybe his girlfriend is morbidly obese.  The answer is no.  She's actually of a respectable weight.  And she's cute. 

I'm 2.5 years away from being 30.  This guy is 6 months away from a heart attack.  Who has it worse?  I'm not really sure.